Being in a Multi-Racial Relationship

At Renfrew Ravine Moon Festival earlier this year, I was chatting with someone I’d met recently, and when I mentioned that my husband was from India and that we have two kids, they paused with curiosity. They were intrigued by the fact that I’m in a multi-racial relationship and asked whether it was difficult being with someone from a different culture. It’s a question I’ve heard before, and one that still surprises me a little. While it’s an everyday reality for us here in Vancouver, it clearly remains a novelty to some—especially as conversations about race and belonging grow more tense down south.

There still aren’t many multi-racial families represented on screen, and when they are shown, the focus often lands on how cultures clash rather than how they coexist. My husband and I have been together for 22 years now, and I can honestly say that hasn’t been our experience.

I told this new acquaintance that our marriage has always been grounded in respect and celebration of our differences. In truth, it’s not so different from any other relationship. Every family—no matter the culture—has its own ways of communicating, celebrating, and seeing the world. What matters most is how we treat one another and our families, and how we remind ourselves that no culture is “better” than another.

That doesn’t mean it’s always been smooth sailing. The toughest moments have often come from outside—comments, assumptions, or the quiet biases that persist even in progressive places like Vancouver. But in our day-to-day lives, we’re like any other family—balancing work, school runs, community events like the Lunar New Year parade in Chinatown, the Vaisakhi Parade, or Italian Day on Commercial Drive, and doing our best to keep up with the rising cost of living that every family here feels. Between mortgage payments, groceries, and kids’ activities, most of our energy goes into simply building a stable, kind home.

We don’t ignore our cultural differences; we embrace them. We embrace them, we recognize how lucky we are to be exposed to them, and we impart this openness to respecting differences between individuals and cultures to our children. This is also how we approach our jobs and community work, as we see it as being integral to ensuring our workplaces and our communities are truly inclusive and diverse.